As we approach Thanksgiving this Thursday, we are reminded to pause and give thanks for all the good things in our lives. Many of us do not have situations anywhere near as dire as the pilgrims who all but died out in the harsh winters of the northeast, or with limited resources or skills. Living in one of those 13 original colonies (Maryland), in a nice single family home, with my expensive hypoallergenic Siberian cat curled under my legs, my blankets piled up and central heating keeping me nice and protected from the rainy cold weather outside, and having so many material things and family all in tact with enough to sustain them, it’s hard to even fathom what the pilgrims, or even the Native Americans, went through almost 400 years ago.
One thing that they left us was the tradition of Thanksgiving. Over the years we have developed a modified version of this original celebration, and then individual families created their own rituals within the holiday. In my family, when my grandmother was the matriarch, we all congregated in her home in Dover, Delaware, with its yellow shag carpeting, mahogany and cherry colored furniture, and the framed picture of Jesus, whom she loved so dearly. We all held hands while a special grace was said, and particular to Thanksgiving, each of us had to say one thing that we were thankful for, out loud, for all to hear. I remember being nervous as I had to think of something when it was my turn. Being a child, and particularly a first born, I felt like my answer had to be “a good one” that was acceptable to all the adults, unselfish sounding, and ultimately true to how I felt.
Once my grandmother developed dementia and passed on, the parts of the family split off and no longer celebrated Thanksgiving together, and with it initially went the ritual of saying one thing we were grateful for. One time in the last 8 years (we now alternate Thanksgiving every year so that my parents host for all 6 kids and their families every other year and we all spend the opposite year with our in-laws’ families), I remember my father suggested we say one thing we are thankful for, and for that Thanksgiving the tradition was revived, soon to be forgotten yet again amidst drama and general chaos of getting together 18-20 people. My father recently sent an email about re-establishing the street football games we used to play at Thanksgiving outside my grandmother’s house, and along with it, I am going to suggest that we definitively re-establish her tradition of saying what we are grateful for. I’ll enjoy watching my nieces and nephews squirm a little bit as it comes around to being their turn, hoping that when they get to be my age, if not before, that they’ll look at every day as Thanksgiving, like I do (minus all the bingeing on food!).
See, Thanksgiving is just a day that has been put aside to remind us to pause and be grateful for what we have, even if it is little or less than what we think we need. We are reminded to stop and be thankful to be alive, and if we are lucky, we get to spend the holiday with people we care about. Think about this…not everyone gets to spend Thanksgiving with their families. Even people with money and homes and everything else are not always invited to spend time with their children, or their families live too far away. Many elderly or sick spend the holiday alone. Even if you are alone on Thanksgiving, there is still much to be grateful for; but let’s admit it: if you’re reading this blog on a computer, chances are that you are spending the holiday with family or friends, and you live a fairly comfortable life or existence. While some people choose to fight, 99% against 1% (and I’m not saying I agree or disagree with that), let’s all pause and remember that even being a part of the 99%, within that 99% if we have a roof over our heads and food on our plates, we have so much more than many. Let’s remember that even with struggle or difficulties that there is always hope and possibility. When times are tough, that’s when we need to pull out the attitude of gratitude and do so daily to remind ourselves that in actuality, it’s not all that bad. Things can always be worse, and there is always a lesson in the experience.
If you find yourself down in the dumps or not so happy about things in your life, it can be really beneficial to have a journal in which you write every day something (or a whole list of things) that you are grateful for. Even if you’re feeling great about your life, this can be an amazing and life changing practice. One day you could write “I am grateful for my friends,” and another could be “I am grateful that it is sunny outside today and so I could go to the park.” When things seem tough, entries might read more like “I am grateful I woke up this morning” or “I am grateful I know how to write,” but there is always something to be grateful for. Writing it down makes it tangible, real, and like a commitment to a feeling. It’s one thing to think it (which can be challenging enough), and yet another step to put it to paper. So I’m ready to do a daily journal…are you? Join me in embracing an attitude of gratitude and being real and honest with yourself. Make Thanksgiving every day and grab life by the horns, rather than taking it for granted. Who’s with me?!?!
Be bold,
Jen
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