As the summer winds down, we find ourselves in the last precious moments of long, warm, carefree days before the schoolyear and fall starts, bringing new routines and busier schedules. We think of the summer as a time to send kids to all sorts of camps to ensure they continue learning and have enriching experiences, but how often do we consider exploring our own creative and learning desires as adults? When someone asks what you do for fun, or what hobbies you have, do you draw a blank? If, like many adults, you’ve put your own interests to the side, now is the time to bring them back to the front burner.
The late summer is a perfect time to give yourself the gift of nurturing your secret wishes. Have you always wanted to learn how to paint or play the guitar? Do you desire to become a better cook? Are you holding onto a childhood dream of learning to skateboard? Get honest with yourself about what you’ve always wanted to do.
Here’s what I’ve been doing this summer, how I’m going about it, and my takeaways that will hopefully help you too:
Drawing. I’ve never considered myself someone who is naturally gifted at drawing or art in general. In reality, when I started looking, I realized that I do have a base level of talent, being someone who is very observant of details and scientifically-minded; this sets me up as a decent sketch artist when it comes to drawing animals, plant life, or human anatomy. Part of becoming a better artist is accepting that I do have skills and innate talent, and not getting frustrated because things sometimes don’t look perfect. Sketching plants, animals, musculature and skulls is nice and all, but it’s not what excites me the most. When I get honest with myself, what my dorky little heart is set on is being able to draw animated characters. Despite my 8th grade art teacher being very encouraging when I first drew characters, my skills hadn’t progressed much in the last 30 years. It doesn’t help that I didn’t actually try to draw much in those 30 years. My husband, being an artist, is someone who can easily recreate our kids’ favorite television or movie characters with just chalk in our driveway. Meanwhile, what I typically create is some deranged version of said character, looking nothing like what it’s supposed to. While I still have a while to go, I’ve started taking online courses and practicing here and there as I have time. The thing is, it takes practice to get better. My husband can easily draw things because he’s had years of experiences and coursework that taught him how to do those things. Besides that 8th grade art class, I took one course in 2004 at a school in Baltimore, and that’s it. So why should I expect that I- someone who has barely had any training- should be able to create things with the same ease as someone who has had those extra 30 years of practice?
Here’s the thing- our dreams are not always going to be easy. If we want something, whether it’s a hobby or a career, we need to work at it regularly and do what we can to get better. We need to be willing to fail, and actually look at those failures. Ok fine, so my drawing looks like my character got run over by a steamroller. What can I do next time to make sure their proportions are more accurate? Did I follow all of the prep work, examining their basic shapes, or did I just wing it? Instead of just throwing out that page or erasing it, I’ve had to get comfortable with letting the mistakes just be. One day I can look back and see all of my progress, and be proud of the mistakes that helped me along the way.
I hope you understand that what I say here does not just apply to drawing of course. Here are the main takeaways:
- Don’t expect yourself to magically be at the same level as a professional right out of the gate. While you likely have some natural talent at the things you are interested in, you are a beginner. You will make mistakes and it will be more challenging at first.
- Be ok with making mistakes. Learn from what didn’t go well, and keep practicing. Remind yourself that you are a beginner (repeat as many times as necessary), and give yourself some grace in this process.
- Practice, practice, practice. Get good at the basics, and then you’ll be able to expand out and get more creative. Acknowledge yourself when things go well and when you are making progress and increasing your skills.
Surfing. I grew up at the beach, and some part of me has always wanted to learn how to surf since I was a teenager. I don’t really know what held me back, but life happens and we get busy. Now that I’m in my 40’s, and my back is a little achy and my abs are not what they were before I was pregnant with my second child, it may seem like a strange time to pursue this dream. But if not now, then when? A few months ago, a yoga school I follow posted an ad for a surf and yoga retreat in Costa Rica, and I felt that longing again. While I didn’t have the ability to go to the retreat this summer (maybe next summer!), I did remember that years ago, I had found a balance board to train people how to surf and gain core strength muscles necessary for the sport. With birthday money from family in hand, I finally found the wooden training surfboard, and made the purchase. I’ll admit, I got a little giddy just thinking of how I’d finally allowed myself to follow that dream after almost 30 years. As I write this article, the board is literally arriving today, so by the time this goes to publication I will have had the board for a month. Therefore, I can’t write about my experience with the board yet, only tell you these couple takeaways:
- Don’t ignore those dreams and longings that have been in your heart. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how you physically feel compared to when you were younger. You will only keep getting older, and eventually there might come a time when it’s “too late.” Don’t let that be right now.
- When it comes to exploring an athletic activity, there is always a way to explore your dreams safely at whatever level you are at, keeping any physical limitations in mind. For example, I am starting with an indoor board to build up my core muscles, and bought the equivalent of training wheels for it on top of that. I’m starting small, and as I get stronger, I will be able to remove the training pads or even attend a surf school class at a beach.
- It’s natural to be scared. I have thoughts pop into my head like, what if I’m never able to stand up on a board? Perhaps I can thank being in my 40s now and not caring as much as I might have when I was younger, but when those thoughts pop into my head, the immediate next thought now is, ok, so what? Let’s say I never can stand up on a board, or I wipe out as soon as I do. Then what? Do I seriously care what others think if I’m out here trying my best and my best isn’t good enough to do traditional surfing? I honestly loved boogie boarding as a kid and could easily ride the waves. Maybe my best is doing a boogie boarding equivalent on a surf board. If so, I’m pretty sure it will still be fun, and I can rest knowing I did my best. I can also try my hand at stand-up paddleboarding (SUP) on the lake since my training will have prepared me well for it. We can’t spend our time worrying about getting hurt or about people possibly judging us. Our dreams are there, ready and waiting for us.
Chances are, you know what those 1-2 secret longings are for you. If not, and you feel like there’s something you want to explore, but you’re just not sure what, here are a couple tips to help find it:
- Search the local parks and recreation flyers or websites, art school websites, and other general areas of interest. Even if the course is for children, if it makes you wish there was an adult equivalent, then you know that is something you want to pursue.
- Think about what you think is “cool” and what you wish you could do, but feel like you never could. Maybe it’s running a marathon, writing poetry, or singing. Heck, maybe it’s just dyeing your hair a different color or exploring veganism. What does that inner teenager or child want that they never got? What did you stop yourself from doing because you didn’t think you were talented enough, smart enough, or cool enough for? Ok, maybe getting a tongue ring and going skydiving might be dreams you don’t feel you align with anymore, but do they evoke a feeling for you that you’d like to have now? Journal through the ideas and things you have wanted over the years, and see what still feels like it needs to be expressed. Don’t dismiss any of your dreams, no matter how silly, childish, or out of reach they may seem.
Allow yourself to take in and receive the gift of letting your creativity and joy be expressed. You are worth investing time in. It’s not too late to follow your dreams. We all deserve to explore our hobbies, and our lives are richer for it. Do not fall into the trap of believing that pursuing your interests will derail you from the other things in your life, such as running your own business, working on your career, raising your kids, taking care of aging parents, or other responsibilities that you may have. You are a full human being, with diverse interests and a desire to express and shine the kaleidoscope of who you are to the world. There is no better time than the present to do so. All it takes is a few minutes a day, or even just a couple times a week. Carve out and invest that time in yourself, and claim that you are a(n) fill-in-the-blank-with-whatever-you-want-here. This summer, after 30 years of waiting, I’m stepping fully into being an artist and a surfer, and being a beginner at both. I’m excited to see what you will finally become this summer too.
Note: This article was originally published in a local magazine for their August 2022 issue. For citation references, please contact Dr. Yocum at https://jenyocum.com/contact/
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