This week I did something that many people may think would be something they would never do.  Something that the ego of most might fight.  Something that, to be quite honest, I didn’t think I would end up doing.

In January, as I’ve written about before, my business partner and I parted ways.  I was truly heart broken and I knew it.  While I did roll with the change, the pain never really left.  I tried to fix the heartbreak on my own.  My now “just” friend- no longer a business partner- and I said we’d make sure to keep in touch and hang out after the breakup…but it ended up just happening one slightly awkward time soon after the break.  We still saw each other in other capacities, but didn’t hang out and have any quality time with one another, like we said we would.  We were busy- her with opening her new wellness center with another new business partner- and I, balancing all that I do, and figuring out what was next.

A couple of weeks ago, after several months apart socially, we finally pinned down a time for her and her husband and son to come over to our home and have some pool time. It was a fun gathering, and the energy between us was just as magnetic, moving, and amazing as it always is, because we activate one another, and are a part of each others’ paths.  The loss of that connection over the last few months was truly what I grieved back in January…knowing it was coming and that I had to go through that.  We both felt the awakening, the remembering of how we needed each other in proximity.  We had forgotten, and gotten lazy; or perhaps we wanted to forget for a while, to not have to hold ourselves to that level of accountability to each other and God.

Being together again, it became excruciatingly apparent that my heartbreak from our breakup was not something I could fix on my own.  I turned to her as my acupuncturist, and sucked it up and told her about my heartbreak, even though I’d told her in other ways before…but now I was confessing that I not only needed help, but I needed her help.  Not only did I need her help in the form of needles, but that in order to heal this fully, and do what we are here on this planet to do, that we needed to commit to one another again.  So she helped to transform the wound.  We turned darkness into light.  We committed to one another, because we need each other to do what God has asked of us to do in this lifetime.

We knew we had to be practicing with one another, as we’ve known for years.  So, I had to push any ego talk aside, not care what people might think (because yes, I *still* have to answer questions about why we split or how it’s going with the new place from people who are oblivious to the fact that we split up), and do what would serve the highest good.  Even when I had (and have) plenty of questions as to why things had to happen this way.  Even when I don’t understand exactly how things will work out.  When it comes to God, it is not my job to question, it is my job to listen, to do what I’m told, and to serve.

I suppose this is all a fancy way of saying that I’ve joined the practice of my former business partner, and we still have some things we will work on where our paths will come back together in formal and informal ways.  And it’s also a fancy way of saying that it doesn’t matter what people think, or what makes sense to rational human minds, when you are doing what you are destined to do.  If you follow your intuition, you will never be led astray, even if it seems like a strange choice at the time, or something you wouldn’t have thought you would do.  I have no doubts that I have made the decision that will serve best at this point in my life.  God gives me little signs when I do this; I had a brand new patient come in on the very first day I started working there.  I haven’t had a new patient in a while.  This is common, however; each time I make a choice that is in alignment, God sends me a new patient or two to show me I’m on the right track.  These people come out of nowhere, randomly finding me on the internet.  While one could choose to believe it is a coincidence, I know it’s not.

Could someone make up a story about me and suggest that I’m a failure, or that I had to crawl back to my former business partner?  I suppose they could.  But that is not my story and the only thing that truly matters is that I have acted from a place of intuition and connection.  I can’t care about what others will think, or about what stories they could make up.  If someone creates a story and chooses to believe these things about me, I don’t have time, nor should I waste the head space, to try to argue with them or convince them otherwise.  Anyone who knows me even remotely well knows that I never make decisions lightly, and thought and care are behind every choice I make.  Sometimes, there isn’t even thought behind it, however.  Sometimes, I’m at the mercy of what I’m being asked to do, and I never tell God no.  So people can go ahead and make up whatever stories they want.  Heck, one girl I went to high school with who was a couple years behind me, decided to try to destroy my reputation after I went off to college, and spun a story about me dropping out of college because I got pregnant.  Not only did I never drop out of undergrad, nor was I ever pregnant that young (I didn’t have my daughter until I was almost twice that old), I was a virgin back then and pretty darn religious in that sense…sooooo I think that she didn’t have many takers.  That story was completely ridiculous back then, and any story about this choice I’m making that someone could invent would be equally as ridiculous if they uttered it.  Believe me, I’ve heard the leading questions, spoken from students, colleagues, or friends, anticipating drama or tragedy.  Sorry, just two women, making decisions based on intuition and what God tells us to do.  No drama here, only some heartbreak…and that’s not even tragedy.  It’s the reality of separation from a part of you, for even a little while.

So now I’m setting off on this new part of my journey.  Together, with my friend, following our paths.  We are energetic partners, even if we aren’t legal business partners.  We are both committed to each other and the work we are here to do, and it feels right and in alignment, regardless of how it might look to others on the outside.  So if you happen to find yourself in a place where you intuitively know what is right for you, but you are scared of what others might think, I hope you too will choose what is being asked of you.  Because life is too short to make decisions for other people and to save face.  Life is asking you to choose what is making the best use of your talents, so that you may rise up and affect the lives of many as you shine.  Life is to be lived, unashamedly and on path.  When you make your life a devotion, you learn not to question, and instead to follow with full faith that you will be used for the highest good- that your life will be an expression of beauty and service.  And isn’t that an amazingly satisfying way to live a life?

xo,

Jen