Sometimes in life, things don’t go the way we planned. While we cannot always control what happens to us, we can control our reactions to those events and circumstances. How we react in times of stress, crisis, unknowing, or loss affects our mental and physical well-being. An important step in creating a state of inner peace is to find acceptance with life as it is showing up in this moment.
When we accept that things are the way that they are right now, we align ourselves with reality. It may seem dismissive to adopt an “it is what it is” attitude to your life, but realizing that current circumstances in fact exist does not mean you are being passive or putting yourself in the role of victim. Acceptance creates the space to allow yourself to feel and process emotions, rather than ignore them. Many people choose to resist life as it is showing up because they don’t want to feel difficult emotions. This only leads to more suffering. We are human beings, and we need to let ourselves experience the full range of emotions, especially when they are challenging.
Be Here Now
This current moment is all we have. So many of us mentally live in the past or future, but this moment in time is where we are actually existing. We may want things to be different, but this is how they are right now. Take some time each day to feel the present moment. Remind yourself that you are here and breathing. Acknowledge that you are strong and resilient, and that things may be hard, and you are still here. Let emotions arise and flow through you. Tears may fall, you may decide to scream into a pillow, or you may want to curl into a ball. Allow it to happen. You are here, experiencing this moment.
Give Yourself Grace & Forgiveness
If your friend or family member was suffering, you would never yell at them, chastise them, or otherwise verbally insult them. So why do we do this to ourselves so often? You are deserving of grace and forgiveness. Whether your current circumstances are due to your own actions (or lack of action), or due to things completely out of your control, you are still worthy of love. Forgive yourself for any part you may have played, for not being there or being able to say goodbye, for acting out of character, for feeling vulnerable, or for whatever else comes up for you. Lean back on that acceptance; whatever has happened, it is done. You must now allow yourself the grace and self-love to move forward as you process this moment in time.
Cultivate Trust & Resilience
All of us have been through hard times, traumatic events, and challenges. Yet you’re still here. You’ve made it through past events, and that means you can also make it through this one. It may be something new, and may be the hardest thing you’ve gone through yet, but you can still glean lessons from the past to prove to yourself that you are resilient and that you can trust that you’ll get through this. Think about a time in the past when you were presented with a similar difficulty. What lessons did you learn from this? Did you discover anything about yourself in the process? Did your relationship(s) with others shift or change in any way?
When we remember our own resilience, we build trust that we will make it through whatever issues may arise. We can also lean on our trust of the Universe, God, impermanence of life, or whatever else resonates for you. Shifting to a mentality that we are on a journey to learn, grow, and experience all that humanity has to offer provides a sense of ease and peace. Some people choose to repeat a saying or mantra to themselves, such as “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” or “I have faith in myself and my journey,” and this can help give reassurance when times get tough.
Finding acceptance in the present moment can ease your suffering and allow you to move forward in life. It provides freedom to experience your emotions and to take away the lessons that will help you grow. With self-acceptance, grace, and trust, you will have the resilience to make it through any of life’s difficulties.
Note: This article was originally published in a local magazine for their November 2023 issue. For citation references, please contact Dr. Yocum at https://jenyocum.com/contact/
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