Here we are, at the start of a brand-new year. You may be tired of the adage, “New Year, New You,” but it doesn’t mean we have to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. Traditional New Year’s resolutions may leave a lot to be desired, whether it’s losing weight, finding a new relationship, or career ambitions, but I’ve thought a lot about it over the years, and I feel there is great value in the idea of making resolutions or goals for a new year. If you’re like me, you pretty much abandoned resolutions for the last couple years, unless you count the resolution to not get (or get rid of) COVID and every other airborne wintertime illness. While I still desire a healthy start to the new year, I’ve learned that not setting resolutions makes for a drifting, uninspired season of life.
The challenge with many New Year’s resolutions is that they lack a why. It’s not enough to claim that you want to lose 20 pounds this year. Do you want to lose it because you pine for the days in high school when you weighed that much? Did your doctor tell you that you need to lose the weight to avoid surgery or a potential heart attack? Do you want to be able to feel less winded when you chase your kids or grandkids around the yard? Do you want to lose the weight to fit a societal standard, instead of your own? Taking time to explore your why will give you insight as to whether your resolution is a worthy one.
Many people make resolutions based on societal expectations and standards of beauty or success. While there is nothing wrong with wanting nice things, or to look physically attractive, there is typically something else underlying that desire. For example, if your resolution is to make more money so you can buy a bigger house, what is your why? Why do you want a bigger house? Is it so your children can have their own bedrooms, or is it because you want to finally impress your friends, or to feel successful? Imagine yourself in that new, bigger home. What is the feeling you would have? What does having that home give you? Does making more money to purchase a bigger home feel like a good resolution for you?
In order for a New Year’s resolution to be successful, it must have a good why. It must be rooted in something greater than a superficial want. Ambitious resolutions require hard work, and our why is the guiding light when times get tough. If you want to lose weight to avoid surgery, you will have to make sacrifices. There will be days when you don’t want to work out, or when you don’t want to eat the perfectly-portioned lunch you brought while your coworkers go out to the new restaurant. When you compare the relatively minor annoyances of doing things you don’t want to do with the big pay-off of avoiding major surgery, the daily healthy choices become easier to bear. If you want a new house to give your growing family the space it needs, your kids will serve as your motivation when you’re putting in the extra hours or working a second job. Skipping the annual family vacation so that next year you can put the down payment on the house is disappointing in the short-term, but exhilarating long-term when your kids get their own bedrooms and the space you’ve all dreamt of in due time.
If your resolution is to lose weight because you want to look “better” or fit into a smaller pant size, your motivation will likely wane after a couple weeks, and keep waning until you give up in February, and decide life is better at your current weight, where you can just eat cookies and drink alcohol, and not bother with exercise. If you want a bigger house because you want to look impressive and successful to others, you may work a little harder at your job at first, but when your extra work doesn’t get rewarded with any monetary compensation or promotions, you may give up and feel deflated. If there is no real need for a larger home, and no good why, then there’s no reason to keep going and push to make your dreams come true.
Here’s the thing- what separates high achievers from the rest is their unwavering commitment to their goals. Their why is at the center of their entire being. All of their choices, both personally and in business, are made with their why in mind. Every opportunity can get them closer or further from their goal. Every choice they make in a given day, from what time they wake up, to what rituals they practice, to how they spend their time is done with that why in mind. Even how they dress, speak, and interact with others is reflective of their why.
Think about your resolution and your why. Think about those big dreams and goals in your life. Close your eyes, and envision how you would feel when you have achieved that goal or resolution. What do you look like? What are you wearing? With whom do you spend your time? What do you spend your time doing? How do you feel? Write all of those things down, and anything else that comes to mind. Now, consider your current self compared to your future self. Are you wearing the same clothes as your future self? Styling your hair the same? Spending time with the same people? Doing the things you want to be doing? Do you feel the same as the future you? If not, then start making shifts now. If you’re not dressing the same as how you want to be dressing, then start dressing that way now. Start acting like your future self, speaking in the way you want, and spending time doing the things you saw your future self doing. Taking actions now will build the energy towards your dreams, and help you to become that future self even sooner. Each day, consider if the choices you are making are ones that will help your goal or hurt it. Instead of spending time “doom scrolling” on social media, do that online yoga class or apply for a new job. Instead of eating that free donut at work, relish in the fact that you’ve brought a healthy breakfast with you to enjoy. Make a game of it and see how many times a day you can make a choice that will support your dreams, and watch them come true before your eyes.
Note: This article was originally published in a local magazine for their January 2024 issue. For citation references, please contact Dr. Yocum at https://jenyocum.com/contact/
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